I can’t find clarity in this time of my life. I have been struggling in the relationship I have been in with my boyfriend since I moved in with him. While I’m waiting for my job application to be approved, I depend on him financially. We’ve been getting into arguments and it’s draining me mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Sometimes I worry that we won’t be able to see each other eye to eye. He has shown me that he prays for me at the same time, I feel like he doesn’t have the same emotional maturity as I do when we have conversations or arguments. I feel like no matter what I say to try and tell him my perspective and help, he doesn’t want to know. At times I want to break away but, I can’t live out on my own. I moved away from my emotionally abusive mother in Texas and decided to live with my boyfriend to have a better life. My boyfriend says that he just wants me to be happy and that he has a lot on his plate paying bills. I don’t want to exhaust myself to feel loved and appreciated. I have my driver’s license but, have never had my own car and affording one has always seemed out of reach.
Another reason why I moved away from Texas is for my safety. I’m waiting for a deputy to investigate and press charges against someone who physically harmed me over 8 years ago. I’m at my lowest. I want to get better and need a miracle that goes beyond the prayers I have been making on my own.